


Time is Fleeting, or Something

by holyroller



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, POV Second Person, Stream of Consciousness, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24939952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyroller/pseuds/holyroller
Summary: Takes place during episode 99 at some point in the time they spent on the Ball Eater.Beau has a lot of thoughts all the time.And, well. Jester.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Time is Fleeting, or Something

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! and thank you for clicking here. 
> 
> ive not written in a second so if anything sounds weird or wonky please feel free to drop a comment about it. any feedback/thoughts are always welcome <3
> 
> enjoy!

The concept of love is a fickle thing. 

It changes depending on who feels it, when they feel it, _how_ they feel it. It dawns on some people the way waking up brings the dawn of a new day. Sometimes, it hits others like a wave. A burst of emotions jumping into your chest at once as you realize that you may have been sharing a bagel with the love of your life. 

And sometimes, it makes you work for it. 

You’re a no-good twenty something, hell bent on destroying the world before it destroys you. You’ve spent most of your life kicking and screaming at whoever would allow it. You’ve known that in order to get ahead, you must bite off heads. It was a simple way of life that had worked out for you long enough. And then you ran into a group of weird people.

The young half-orc you were absolutely sure was going to end up with his head beneath the heel of your shoe when you met him. The overly-kind tiefling girl who teetered on the line of endearing and terribly annoying. They were weird, but welcome company at the time. Then came the rest. The wizard man, the goblin, Molly, and Yasha.

It started out as convenience, you’re sure everyone can agree. But, it’s not that way now. It’s not that way because you love that wizard man as much as ever loved your own family, if not more. The goblin- the halfling girl, is a good friend now. That half-orc is actually the coolest guy you know, even if you won’t ever admit it to anyone. Molly’s on your back, his mysterious details and intricacies etched into your own skin. Yasha is… a kindred spirit. You often wonder if she hates herself half as much as you hated yourself. Situations are different, sure, but you know self loathing when you see it. You like to think you punched some of it out of the wizard, but. 

And of course, there’s Jester. There’s always Jester.

The edge of her kindness wore off quickly enough. You’ve met kindness before. You know it comes in different flavours. It’s sweet, it’s tempting, and usually, it comes with a price. There was an unlikely chance that this was any different. And yet, there was Jester.

Her magic has saved the party at every given opportunity, she’s fought so many battles, she’s seen so many things that would have broken anyone. Hell, they’ve broken you. 

The hag in the swamp. You fight with your fists, usually. You know that entities like this deal in absolutes when it suits them. It was logical to offer her your life for another’s. Because, that’s what this group has done to you, it’s filled you with love. So, you stood your ground. You said a life for a life. By then, you’d done everything you’d ever wanted. A lot of people peaked in their twenties, right? Yeah, yeah. 

And well, Jester.

You remember the anxiety sitting in your stomach as seconds ticked by, like a pool of wet concrete daring to make you a statue from the inside out. You remember the way she burst out of that room. Jittery as if she’d just managed to paint a dick on the hag’s face and needed to get out of there immediately. There was a slightly panicked look in her eyes that nobody could place and everybody wanted to get to the bottom of. It made no sense. The curse was broken? What had she done? What had she given up? You could feel the tentacles of the icy guilt rising up in your stomach. If you’d offered the hag your life, what had Jester offered? Whatever it was, the price was too high.

_We need to go._

And so, you all did. You got the hell out of there and when in safety, with Jester explaining her story. What she did, the way she outshone the rest of the Nein the way she tended to do without ever announcing she’d done so. You could have kissed her. You should have, frankly. You knew who had gone in there, you knew what had been thrown on the table. The hag was clearly one of the most powerful beings that the Nein had ever come into contact with. A creature capable of great horrors. And yet, Jester.

Wonderful, beautiful, captivating, interesting, complex, exuberant, incredible, every other noun that you can think of that’s a synonym to “amazing”, Jester. You could probably tack more synonyms on if you channel the headband a bit. 

So now, that you rest your arms on the railing of the infamous Ball Eater, first mate status very much in check, you sigh deep, because it was always right there in front of you. You liked her, of course, that was always the case. Who wouldn’t? You’ve admitted that. But, this. This runs just a bit deeper than you’ve ever really known. 

The sea winds blow through your hair, pushing salt against your skin. You wonder if her skin is salty. Because of the ocean. You look down at it now, actually. It’s blue. Her skin is blue. It’s a nicer shade than the ocean, though. Her hair, too. That’s probably as soft as sea foam.

Soft as sea foam? 

You shake your head. 

You sigh.

You’re in-

“Hey, Beau,” her tone of voice is a melody. She goes and peers over the rail, fearless. You give her a grin, the same one you think you always have. The one that distracts from the glint in your eyes. 

“Hey, Jessie,” you say, smoothly. Hopefully.

“I need to ask you a favour,” she says. She looks away from the railing and back up at you now.

“Shoot,” you respond, pushing every thought you’ve had for the past ten minutes out of your head to devote your full attention to the problem she may need solving.

“Well, I was thinking. What with Traveler-Con coming up super soon. I was thinking that maybe we could coordinate outfits?” it’s an innocent question, there’d been many a talk about the way the Nein were going to parade around as high priests and priestesses of the Traveler.

“Sure, yeah. I think that’d be cool,” you respond, trying your best to work the conversation despite the awkwardness you’ve managed to convey, “were you thinking like embroidery? I know Caleb’s coat has some cool sh-”

“No, Beau. Like, yours and mine,” she says, a curious look on her face as if she’d expected you to read her mind. Damnit, why didn’t you read her mind? 

“Oh-” that stops you a bit, because you’re not sure what this means. Are you reading into it? Yes. You are. “That’d be cool, too.” You say. 

“Yeah, so I was thinking that maybe,” she steps closer to you, holding her arms out, “that we get one big giant coat, you know? Not for everyone, just for you and me. Maybe split it into two smaller coats that can attach to each other. And it’s a big coat that when we put it on, it makes us look like we’re conjoined almost, you know? I think it will scare people. Make them think the Traveler can do this kind of thing at will.”

You laugh, adding _ridiculous_ to the list of synonyms, “I don’t know about that one, Jester.”

“Look, hear me out,” she reaches out and grabs your arms, pulling you close with a strength that everyone but you forgets is there. She tugs at the sleeves of her cloak, letting her hands go over your arms as she steps closer to you, determination on her face. Her hands are warm. Not in the way Molly was warm- physically, because he was also a tie- Jester’s warm in a different way.

The cloak comes over your arms and she’s inches away. And she gives you a smile, a smile that melts your heart, yada yada. You’re not able to meet her eyes. It’s suddenly very warm in the ocean. Are you technically still considered _in_ the ocean if you’re on a boat? On the ocean? Fjord? Do you hear him? You’re currently bound by Jester’s arm, to Jester herself who’s looking at you with eyes that you’ve dreamt of getting lost in. You do what any normal person would do in this situation.

You panic.

She opens her mouth to speak, to further attempt to convince you that this conjoined priestess thing is a good idea. And you kiss her. 

It’s soft, it’s sweet. It’s everything you could have imagined. It’s not as long as you would have liked. Because, you pull away, just as panicked as you had before. She’s giving you an unreadable expression. Her lips still parted as if waiting to be met with yours again.

It takes her a second to react. She bounces back, because Jester always does, “well, I um. I don’t know about that- I don’t know that the Traveler wants his followers to um, mingle? Or maybe he does. I don’t know, actually. I should ask him.”

“Yeah…” you say, expecting her to push you away and pretend like this never happened.

And yet. Jester. 

She gives you a little smile and says, “I don’t think he’ll mind if I do, though.” And it’s mischievous, daring. 

Somehow, that makes it worse? You’re not entirely sure. Instead of focusing on whatever your body’s insides are doing, you reach forward and take the sides of her face and you kiss her again. Just as softly, but with a little more intent. She’s sweet. Her hands go up your arms and come to rest on the sides of your shoulders. She leans into the kiss, a little more wanting than you’d expected. 

You wonder if maybe she’d been waiting for this as long as you have. 

And when you both pull back, there’s a blush on her face. Little purple sections that are so beautiful to look at. To have made happen. 

“Heh,” you laugh. Because, what else can you do? She gingerly takes her hands off of you, as if it wasn’t what she’d have liked to do. 

“I can um, show you what designs I’ve had in mind?” She gives you a soft smile. And you breathe a laugh. Because, yes, yes. Anything. Her plan to scare the followers of the Traveler with weird body conjunctions in a cloak, or whatever. Yes, absolutely. You nod.

She takes her hand in yours, gives you a knowing smile for a second. 

And then she skips forward with you in tow. It takes you a second, but you match her pace after a few seconds. You skip along, too. You find yourself enjoying it and the warmth her hand gives yours. 

Your name is Beauregard Lionett and you are in love.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> if you liked, please feel free to drop a comment!


End file.
